Managing Your Finances

Interesting facts in the Bible on finances:

• 2350 verses on money and possessions
• 16 of 38 parables Jesus taught dealt with finances
• 1 out of 6 verses in Matthew, Mark, Luke relate to money and possessions
• 3 times more verses in the Bible about money and possessions than love
• 7 times more than prayer
• 8 times more than belief

"Well done, good and faithful servant!" Matt 25:21 The goal of every Christian is to hear God say these words when we meet Him face to face. But did you know this statement refers to how we did with the money God entrusted to us? I didn't know that. I always thought it was a general statement about what we did with our life.

Tonight I went to Week 2 of a Managing Money Workshop at Saddleback and the above was an enlightening take away. What I find most interesting is that at this time in my life, my income is at its lowest point and I really don't want to face the music on this topic. So just listening to the things I'm supposed to be doing with my money is quite painful. My stomach is in serious knots. I'm thankful for the Excel spreadsheets because they will help me to start tracking and planning. But I still don't know whether I'll be unemployed in a month so I'm tempted to procrastinate once again.

The end of March will determine so much. My 60 notice is up on March 27, Saddleback makes an announcement on March 28 about a new worship center they're "building" and my custody hearing with Carlos is on March 29. Crazy or what? It's a culmination of something big, I think.

God's got a plan...that I do know!

What do you think God's trying to tell us when you look at our Country in the financial state it's in? Post a comment.

Fear

We had an intimate session tonight with our small group as some could not make it. Sometimes when there are less people I think we tend to open ourselves up to vulnerability than when there's a larger group. It's pretty cool actually.

We're in Week 2 of "No Other Gods." The last chapter titled "Why Idols" has to do with fear. Whatever we fear is our god. Fear itself is not the god; the object of our fear is the god. For some people fear can be the single most debilitating and paralyzing emotion. I look back on my life and can easily remember all the things I was afraid of. For the past several years I have this fear of being homeless. Therefore, my home becomes my idol. The importance of having this home is the focus of my thoughts. Even though I prayed for this home and I honestly believe God gave us this home, I know God doesn't want me to put it before Him. So when I get stressed about the rent, instead of obsessing, I go to Him with my burden and truly let go and trust that since He provided this house, He'll take care of the rent. Yeah right...these words were so easy to type. Yet I know it's true so why won't I believe them? It's the essence of what God is teaching me at this point in my life.

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I will trust in You!

The author writes this: "I will say that Scripture has been tremendously effective in combating my fears. Not because scripture is full of helpful quotes about how not to be afraid, but because it's actually the recording of God's heart toward His creation--a creation He knows is prone to be afraid at every turn. He knows our frailty. He knows what causes our blood to run cold. He knows that fear can be our default. I wonder if this is why Scripture has so much to say about it."

I want to be at peace today. I want to really know in my heart that when God tells me not to fear, He will empower me not to fear. This morning as I contemplated the giant list of burdens (and I'm not exaggerating), I listened to my Christian music, talked with my sister in Christ, Aida, did my homework for small group and I prayed. And of course, all of these things were just what I needed to feel at peace. I was good for the rest of the day.

Then right before I came in to write this, my dad tells me about the Verizon bill. Okay Lord, I have to start all over again.

And that's how it's done!!...........................................I just made God laugh!

Happy Birthday Chloe

Today is my daughter's 18th birthday. She started her day at 7:30am.!!!! Seriously, Chloe?? I don't remember the last time I saw her beautiful face that early on a Sunday morning. I hadn't yet wrapped her presents because I thought I'd have hours. Her father took her to get her nails and toes done and then to lunch. She went to have coffee in Laguna and then dinner at K'ya with her girlfriends. We were able to get her for dessert. Oh wait, we did have breakfast together. I made her poached eggs with tapatio on toast. Hey, at least we got her today, right? I made her a mini red velvet bundt cake with cream cheese frosting so we could sing a horrific rendition of the b-day song. It was the thought that counts and the cake "looked" yummy..yes, all I could do was look, unfortunately. She had a fantastic day surrounded by people who love her to death. What more could she want...except for that car she asked her dad for.

I stopped by to wish my friend Tawnya a Happy Birthday. I couldn't make it for the dinner because I was focused on Chloe's day. But I was happy to see the girls. I don't get a chance to see this group often so I was happy to spend a few minutes with them. I love these ladies. It makes me so appreciative of their friendship because I don't offer much of my time these days. I'm so wrapped up with the challenges in my life and that may seem like a poor excuse, I know. But these ladies are so gracious and loving, it makes me love them all the more. I love you Tawnya, Cindy and Laura!

So the word out on the street and in the OC Register is that Saddleback Church's Rick Warren is the top contender for The Ranch. HMMMMMMMM is all I can say. No, I can say that I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to be an employee of Saddleback Church. We'll all have to wait and see.

His Perfect Timing

This is from my How to Pray in Challenging Times book:

Pray God will grant you faith enough and humility enough to leave things in His hands and in His perfect timing.

1 Peter 5:6-7 (New International Version)
6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Have you ever had so much to do that you don't know where to start? Ever been so overwhelmed with everything on your plate that you find yourself during the day taking deep breaths that are really huge sighs? I felt this way today.

This is the perfect prayer and the perfect verse for days like today. I did read it a few times during the day. I wish I could say I have complete peace but I don't. I do rest in the fact that God's timing is perfect.

Farewell to Cheryl

Cheryl, who has been the Chief Operating Director at the Ranch for 15 years is no longer an active staff member as of yesterday. Today our weekly meeting went on without her as will operations here on the Ranch.

I personally would not have had this wonderful opportunity if it weren't for Cheryl. She took a chance with hiring me despite the opposition from trusting staff members due to my lack of experience in this industry. I will always be grateful to her for that and the support she provided on a personal level as well. I have no doubt that God has a plan for her. Maybe it will be here on the Ranch in the future or maybe there's another fabulous opportunity awaiting her gifts and talents. In any case, I wish her all the best and many wonderful blessings.

My amazing news has not been announced yet so sorry, still can't comment on that. As a matter of fact, the announcement in this morning's meeting was the opposite of what I thought. That is, the deal for the sale of the Ranch is not consummated. My source is truly the most reputable person yet it's so so difficult to decipher the truth when I come here. Everyday, has some news yet I don't know if it's true or not true. This is beyond crazy!!!

The Ranch aside, I got ntoice yesterday that my ex-husband is suing for custody of my youngest daughter. He was awarded only visitation in the divorce proceedings. I'm looking to the Lord to work this out for me because I'm exhausted. I'm completely surrendering this to Him as I just don't have it in me for another fight. But the Lord does intevene and I'm confident this outcome will be just as He knows it should be for Livi's well being. Please keep us in prayer.

3 Letters Describe Today

OMG!!!

Normally, in texting, I use this to represent "Oh My Gosh!! But today, it's oh MY GOD! My God let me behold a miracle tonight. Everything was orchestrated so perfectly for this to happen. I can't even put it into words, it's so amazing.

However, I can't tell you about it just yet. I gave my word. So, you'll just have to tune in over the next couple of days

Is It a Sense of Entitlement?

I have worked very creatively on the Ranch over the past year and half to make it as beautiful as I could using what little I had. One of my favorite rooms is used mainly by the grooms as their dressing room. It's one of two casitas (little houses). I re-decorated it last year and purchased items from Pier One when it went out of business in Mission Viejo. It was so cute. Today, I found out that curtains (bought with my own money) along with 2 decorator pillows were stolen. It sounds so trivial I know...but now when you walk in the room now it's funny to see these orange pillows on brown sofas. The curtains and the other pillows tied it all together. It was just complete and now it's not.

They were no guests in the Hacienda rooms this past week. That could only mean the thief is an employee. Why steal them now after they've been there almost a year? And why not take anything else in the room? There are cute knick-knack stuff that match perfectly. How did he/she get a key? When would there be an opportunity? It doesn't seem like it would be a guy because what guy would want curtains and pillows. I'm driving myself crazy with these questions.

The fallout of closing the Ranch is most felt by the employees. However, does that make it okay for us to feel a sense of entitlement to anything we want to take? Just because we don't have jobs in 60 days gives us the right to steal in order to somehow get paid what we deserve?

I just don't get it. I'm supposed to be working in ministry...on God's holy land. I have to let this go. This is the kind of thing that eats at me for days. I mentioned before that I have this crazy inquisitive quality and I keep going over it to see if I missed anything that could be a clue to who it is. But there's too much already to think about to add this on top. So I pray to let this go.

Since this is only the 2nd week, my fear is that this is only the beginning of what's to come.

It's Reality For Us but Smoke & Mirrors for CCM

Yesterday, two of the Ranch's most dedicated managers quit. Both for the same reason..it's too chaotic and stressful. The stress of knowing you're going to be unemployed in less than two months is stress enough. But to come to work everyday and take heat from angry conference guests and brides is more than they wanted take on.

From the start this whole closure was handled poorly. Absolutely no thought or planning on the part of the Crystal Cathedral went into it. Saying they're closing it yet still continuing with weddings is a contradiction. Now the school is staying open till June which is what should have happened in the first place had there been some common sense used in this decision. The soccer leagues have presented proposals to keep the fields open. Now someone significant is going to submit a request to keep the retreats and conferences going till the end of the year at the Crystal Cathedral board meeting. So if that request is granted this whole thing was futile.

In addition to the insanity above, we now have 2 people managing the Ranch. Cheryl, has been the Operating Director for 15 years and John Charles is the one appointed recently to manage the ranch. There are no clear job descriptions for each, although it is clear John Charles is the ultimate decision maker. Yet Cheryl has not been given direction as to what she has authority t do. It's crazy. I'm fortunate to be pretty much self-sufficient as I don't interact with the guests. The people in other departments are like bobble-heads, looking back and forth to Cheryl and then to John. Of course it has to be that these two personalities are polar opposites. Cheryl is the ulimate planner down to the smallest detail and John seems to go with the flow so to speak. I completely understand the dilemma of the managers that quit yesterday.

What do we do? As Christians, we're told to respect authority and in this case it's John Charles. Or are we loyal and follow the one with whom we have the trust relationship and who has the experience of making the decisions that affect the viability of the Ranch?

I really think this whole thing was done 1) as a publicity stunt to get serious interested buyers knowing there's an urgency and 2) to appease the bank that demands the church to make serious cut backs. This 4.9 million number quoted in the newspaper as the amount saved by the church for the shut down is ridiculous. It was pulled out of a hat and it must have somehow satisfied the bank for now. It gives them time to sell it and pay off the balloon note due.

As of yesterday, there are 4 serious buyers. God will have final say in the end. Stay tuned to As the Ranch turns.....

I Want To Quit

I've been completely focused on my web site for the past 3 days and finally making some progress I have to say. But..if you're planning on building a website be prepared for much more work than originally anticipated, especially if you're selling products. Taking pictures of the jewelry alone takes hours and hours of shooting and re-shooting to get the color just right without shadows. Then manipulating those to the right size, brightness, etc. in Photoshop takes hours and hours. Then you're ready to load them into the website along with the description for each. Then comes the writing and there's alot of writing for as many pieces as I have. Are you tired yet? I am so tired of spending every waking moment on this. I want to quit!!!!

Tomorrow I have to work at the Ranch. Actually, we have a meeting with an agency that is coming to teach us how to write an effective resume. The thought of that makes me want to throw up. Interviewing and being out there pounding the pavement is more horrifying. I might be unemployed in less than 60 days. I say "might" because I was asked if I would consider staying on after the 60 days to facilitate the weddings. However, they don't know what the pay will be, whether or not it will be contract or employee status, etc. Bascially, they know nothing other than the weddings will continue. It's the first glimmer of hope though. You'd think I'd be more excited and praising God. Instead, I'm just one big complainer today. What's up with that? Thank God He's patient and full of mercy. He's up there shaking His head at me today because I am failing the test miserably.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Between the Ranch, my website, small group, my home duties and always thinking about how I'm neglecting my workouts, I feel like I'm not doing anything right. I want to quit everything! I need to look up scriptures on perseverance and believing God. Hey, where's my little scripture book? That should be right beside me for moments like these.

Why in the world am I writing this? And why in the world would anyone care to read the writings of such a whiner? Does anybody else relate to this? One day you're up, the next you're down. Ha Ha...that makes me think of a line in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. "You're up, you're down, you're here, you're there, you're like a frickin' one woman circus." Yup, that's me right now. Tune in tomorrow folks when I'll be up, hopefully for all of you!

No Other Gods

We're doing a study called "No Other Gods" in our small group which started a few weeks ago. We just got our books tonight and discussed what it means to have functional gods in our day and age. These are the things we put above God...kind of like modern day idols which could be all sorts of things, depending on our attitudes and actions toward them. An idol can be a physical object, a property, a person, an activity, a role, an institution, a hope, an image, an idea, a pleasure, a hero, anything that can substitute for God. We even talked about the things that are inherently good and right, but have become detrimental simply because we desire them too much. The author, Kelly Minter quotes John Calvin, "The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much."

I never really thought about this. But there's a reason God put "You shall have no other gods before me" as the first commandment so it has to be important. It reminds me of the Israelites and the many times throughout the bible they turn away from God and worship other idols and other gods. I get so frustrated sometimes and think, "Why don't they learn?" Well hello, I do it all the time. While I didn't make a golden calf or little statues, I did and still do use things as a substitute for God. The biggest one is a person in my life. I have definitely used him in place of God and over the past couple of years I've slowly learned the hard way that God wants me to go to Him with my struggles and desires. My heart breaks the more distant I become in this relationship but then I catch myself going to the Lord first when something happens. I realize more and more that it's what God wants from me..to be first in my life.

I was really praying for God to show me what to choose to study for this group and through someone at church, He led me to this. Even when I did decide on this book, I thought it would be a good study for THEM because I am going through something entirely different. Wow! Isn't this so God? He knows what I need way before I do or at least before I'll admit it.

Just like each and every study I've been through...there's something God wants to teach us. There's always a lightbulb that goes on about something. This just might be the brightest one since I least expected it. I really enjoy these ladies and am looking forward to what God has in store for me in small group over the next 8 weeks.

So Happy You're Alive

Cory and Sue: Thank God for His amazing grace.

Cory, my nephew and his Aunt Sue were driving up from San Diego today and were involved in a major car accident. There were no other cars involved. Driving on the wet freeway, somehow Cory's car started to fishtail, then starting spinning and then flipped over several times before crashing into an embankment. The car landed upside down and Cory and Sue crawled out safely. Thankfully, several people that witnessed what happened stopped to help and called 911.

The car was totaled and both are so grateful to be alive. We're so grateful they are alive. Thank you again God.

What Texting Can Do

Out of all the amazing electronic gadgets invented, my 2 favorites are the DVR and the cell phone. The DVR because I don't watch that many shows but the ones I do, I never have to miss plus I can skip through the commercials. I watched the Grammy's the other day and skipped through what seemed to be more commercials than the show. I love my DVR.

The cell phone, while I love it for the many reasons most people do, I love it mostly because it allows me to communicate with my kids on their level. That means texting! I would never see "I love you" hardly at all if it weren't for texting. I probably wouldn't get that many calls about being late or where they are as I do with texting.

So today here on the Ranch it's raining. The smallest, most intimate wedding I think we've ever had is in progress. It's cold outdoors but indoors the fireplaces are lit making it warm and cozy. I'm sentimental thinking once again about the future and I get a text from my son who is up in San Luis Obispo at Cal Poly. Kyle is probably going to kill me for this but here's what it says:

"On my way home from the studio and it's raining. Makes me remember how much you like the rain. Love you mom and i miss you."

OMG, is that the cutest, sweetest son ever? This is what I used to tell him and still do, "Thank you God for giving him to me." I focus so much of my thoughts about what my purpose is here on earth and how I'm to use my gifts for God's glory. I forget that a huge purpose for my existence is to raise 3 children to be seeking their purpose and guide them to use their gifts for God's glory. Kyle is in the architecture program at Cal Poly. He is pursuing a career path for which he is extremely talented and doing very well. He's involved with Campus Crusade for Christ and attends a guy's ("men's" makes me cry...can't do it) bible study on Monday nights. Chloe is in her Senior Year and has been accepted to her top 3 college choices which are all Christian Colleges. There's a 90% chance she'll end up at Gordon College located just outside of Boston. She has a heart for Christ and has just recently sent out a letter requesting financial support (most of you will receive it) to go to Haiti this summer with Saddleback Church. I am so very blessed to see God's glory revealed in these two amazing young adults!

See? Who knew one little text could make a mother brag on her children in this way?

Be Still and Know that I am God

Psalm 46:10"Be still, and know that I am God" is the verse Pastor Rick Warren posted on Facebook today. Although he posted it from an entirely different perspective (he's hosting pastors from all over the world), it still spoke to me this morning.

The amount of information being communicated about the Ranch is overwhelming. There have been numerous newspaper articles and TV news reports, it's hard to keep up let alone decipher what's true and not true. There are people/organizations calling and coming by as they are interested in purchasing the land including the City of San Juan Capistrano. The Mayor was here and is excited about the possibilities. There is non-stop talk between all the employees and guests about what they are hearing. It's so distracting.

I really want to try and "be still and know God is God" and not get caught up in the minutia of it all. God is God and He's going to have His way in the end so all this talk has no bearing whatsoever. These words I'm typing are easy to say (and write) but not so easy to live, especially for a highly inquisitive (nice word for nosey) person like me. But I will pray and ask God for help in this way so that I can focus on what has to get done which are 2 weddings this weekend. These are our only two weddings this month, thank God. This gives us a chance to work out the details of how we're going to make the ongoing weddings happen, especially as the employees start to leave as they are seeking employment elsewhere. Again, God is God and He obviously wants the weddings to continue so we're doing everything possible to make sure brides and grooms have the best memories of their wedding day!

Special Days

There are certain days you know are the ones you'll always remember. The ones most important to your children for you to be there for them. Even though there is crazy stuff happening at work and you have a big meeting, there is no way in the world you could miss this day with your daughter.

Today was one of those days. I spent the morning with Queen Hatshepsut in ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome.

No amount of money..no big meeting.. not even the aftermath of an announcement of the closure of your place of employment can compete with this!

Other People

I remember a sermon on how God speaks to us. I don't remember the Pastor but the ways in which God speaks to us stuck in my mind. He speaks to us through 1) His Word (the bible), 2) Impressions, events and thoughts and 3) Other People.

I called my sister in Christ, Aida this morning as I tend to do when I need good Godly counsel. When I told her I was really doubting God, she asked, "In what way?" I said, "That He exists." She said if she was with me she would of slapped me. She went on to remind me of all the things He's done for me. While I was halfway kidding when I said that, she made me think of all the things God has done for me. I think it was a Pastor who also said the word "remember" is used a ton of times in the bible. God wants us to remember what he's done for us in the past when we start to doubt His reasons for why He allows the circumstances in our lives. Sometimes we just need someone to slap us (in a sense) to jog our memories. Thank you Aida!!

Then a few minutes later Lisa calls to explain why she wasn't at small group last night. Karli, her daughter played the guitar and sang in her first public performance. She got a standing ovation. Awesome job Karli! But she got to bed late Sunday night and after shool on Monday, she was exhausted and went to bed early which is why she completely forgot about small group. We went on to talk about other things..her house situation...the Ranch situation...etc. She mentioned how people have told her she doesn't live in reality but rather a fantasyland because her dreams and desires seem so outrageous and far fetched. If there is one thing I know for sure it's that Lisa has perseverance to get what she wants like no other person I know. It's like she doesn't let anyone or anything distract from her pursuits even if the advice is the most practical, sensible and rational. She's passionate and doesn't give up on her dream. She lives in one of the most prestigious homes in Talega yet hasn't worked full time in 7 years and is able to put her full time focus on raising Karli. That is pretty darn amazing no matter what the who, why, where and how story behind it. All of a sudden, out of nowhere it hit me...my emotions were overwhelming. In that moment in our conversation I realized I was letting the practical, sensible and rational steal my dream. My heart tells me God brought me to the Ranch for more than just these 18 months. It was like she gave me permission to feel good about an impossible ridiculous dream. Thank you Lisa!

So thank you to all the other people God puts in my life everyday...the people who teach me and help me grow to be a better person...my children and my Mom and Dad who give me inspiration and strength everyday. Thank you for Amy, my sister, for being the rational and practical one. Thank you Brian for being my person and letting me share all of the deepest secrets of my heart. Thank you for Rochelle who has got to be the most encouraging person ever. Thank you for Sue and Sandy, the most generous and giving of their time and effort. I see all these offerings as compassion and traits I personally do not possess or at the very least, they don't come natural to me. Through these wonderful people and the many others, God is revealing His glory and His purposes for my life.

So "remember" what God has done for you in the past and know that He uses "other people" as a way to speak to us.

Ducks and Geese

Livi and I went to the Ranch today. She had no school and it was my day off so we went to pick up some of my potting things. My heart ached when I looked over at the Hacienda area where the weddings are held and saw how green and beautiful everything is...just in time for wedding season. We fed the ducks and geese that come running when they see a person with food. They know nothing of what's to become of their home. It reminds me if God takes care of sparrows, ducks and geese, he'll surely take care of us.

The man dedicated to managing the transition, John Charles started today. It's kind of funny that he was given an office in the old middle school building which is deserted because the school closed. He's managing from afar I guess.

I'm kind of blah today..sorry followers. The good news for a blah day is that I was very productive with my web site this morning. And my small group ladies are coming tonight. Thank God it's here because I can't make an excuse not to come. When I get like this I just want to be in bed and pull the covers up over my head...somewhat like hiding under a rock. More good news; Tomorrow is another day and God's mercies are new every morning.