Fear

We had an intimate session tonight with our small group as some could not make it. Sometimes when there are less people I think we tend to open ourselves up to vulnerability than when there's a larger group. It's pretty cool actually.

We're in Week 2 of "No Other Gods." The last chapter titled "Why Idols" has to do with fear. Whatever we fear is our god. Fear itself is not the god; the object of our fear is the god. For some people fear can be the single most debilitating and paralyzing emotion. I look back on my life and can easily remember all the things I was afraid of. For the past several years I have this fear of being homeless. Therefore, my home becomes my idol. The importance of having this home is the focus of my thoughts. Even though I prayed for this home and I honestly believe God gave us this home, I know God doesn't want me to put it before Him. So when I get stressed about the rent, instead of obsessing, I go to Him with my burden and truly let go and trust that since He provided this house, He'll take care of the rent. Yeah right...these words were so easy to type. Yet I know it's true so why won't I believe them? It's the essence of what God is teaching me at this point in my life.

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I will trust in You!

The author writes this: "I will say that Scripture has been tremendously effective in combating my fears. Not because scripture is full of helpful quotes about how not to be afraid, but because it's actually the recording of God's heart toward His creation--a creation He knows is prone to be afraid at every turn. He knows our frailty. He knows what causes our blood to run cold. He knows that fear can be our default. I wonder if this is why Scripture has so much to say about it."

I want to be at peace today. I want to really know in my heart that when God tells me not to fear, He will empower me not to fear. This morning as I contemplated the giant list of burdens (and I'm not exaggerating), I listened to my Christian music, talked with my sister in Christ, Aida, did my homework for small group and I prayed. And of course, all of these things were just what I needed to feel at peace. I was good for the rest of the day.

Then right before I came in to write this, my dad tells me about the Verizon bill. Okay Lord, I have to start all over again.

And that's how it's done!!...........................................I just made God laugh!